A most unselfish act!

Luk 23:34 And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. And parting His clothing, they cast lots

Sometimes one comes across a note or a quote or a remark that leaves an impression on you. Here then a list I came upon. It made me to sit up and think a little.

How to Be Miserable in 20 Easy Steps!
1. Use "I" as often as possible.
2. Always be sensitive to slights.
3. Be jealous and envious.
4. Think only about yourself.
5. Talk only about yourself.
6. Trust no one.
7. Never forget a criticism.
8. Always expect to be appreciated.
9. Be suspicious.
10. Listen greedily to what others say about you.
11. Look for faults in others.
12. Shirk your duties if you can.
13. Do as little as possible for others.
14. Never forget a service you may have rendered.
15. Sulk if people are not grateful for your favors.
16. Insist on consideration and respect.
17. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
18. Always look for a good time.
19. Love yourself first.
20. Be selfish at all times!

I think Paul came upon such a list when he wrote to the church at Corinth:

1Co 3:1 And I, brothers, could not speak to you as to spiritual ones, but as to fleshly, as to babes in Christ. 2 I have fed you with milk and not with solid food, for you were not yet able to bear it; nor are you able even now. 3 For you are yet carnal. For in that there is among you envyings and strife and divisions, are you not carnal, and do you not walk according to men?

Perhaps if we would just do some self-evaluation, we might see why it always comes down to “they don’t understand me” or “they always pick on me” or “they never see it my way”. Maybe it`s not “them”.

Always wanting to `make your point` or having to `win the argument` or `they need to know how I feel` or `having to have the last word` is in fact not about `them`. It’s about `you`. And when it’s always about me, then perhaps the problem lies with `me`.

I read this short story some time ago:

When Marie Antoinette came to Paris as a bride, not a single ragged or starving person appeared on the streets along which the splendid procession passed. France was seething with discontent at the time, born of dire poverty-a discontent that was later to break out in the horrors of the Revolution-but Marie Antoinette was not to know anything about that. So the poor starving populace were swept into the side streets where they could not be seen and kept penned up there so that Marie Antoinette might think all was happy and prosperous in Paris. But optimism based on ignorance is not optimism at all. Optimism gained by a refusal to face the facts is deliberate self-deception. Fear to face reality stems from fear of the sacrifice and labor of love that may be involved. Selfishness turns away its face from the sorrows, shames, and failures of others. But love dares to look at the head bowed with grief and the face paled with suffering.

In reading this, I started to think about what could possibly be, the most selfish act we could embark on.

I could be self-centered

I could be arrogant and obnoxious.

I could boast and brag about my achievements and my possessions

The list on the most selfish act I could be part of is just about endless.

But this then triggered another thought pattern:

What could be the most unselfish act?

Sharing my wealth, sharing my knowledge?

Luk 23:34 And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. And parting His clothing, they cast lots.

The ability to forgive:

Usually we judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions. We want judgment for others, but we want mercy for ourselves.

We need to initiate forgiveness no matter who is to blame for the offense

PR 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

It is not necessary for the offender to repent before we forgive. It is the very act of forgiveness that releases the offender to repentance.

Rom 2 : 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

Both Jesus and Stephen asked God to forgive those who were physically abusing them even while they were dying.

Luke 23 : 34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. / Acts 7 : 60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.

The ones who were attacking them had no desire to repent, yet both Jesus and Stephen chose to seek God’s forgiveness for them.

There is no limit to the times we are to forgive.

MT 18:22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. According to 1 Cor 13 : 5, love keeps no record of wrongs. We forgive as God does, we forget the offense ( Isaiah 43 : 25 & Psalm 103 : 12 )

If our spouse is committing a repetitive sin, we need to be quick to forgive and choose to forget the previous offenses. We do not dwell on it.

Each new offense should be as if there had been no other. It is imperative that we do not bring up past offenses that have been forgiven. This is not easy for our human nature, but we have the nature of God dwelling in us, and through His power, it is possible. He enables us to forgive and trust again.

Remember, forgiveness is an act of will. It is not a feeling. When we put our will in agreement with the will of God, follow the lead of the Holy Spirit, and decide to forgive, our feelings will eventually follow !

PS 103:2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

It is only through His heart of love and compassion, that we are truly able to forgive those who have wounded us. Our own feelings of pain and anger are overridden by His great love for them.

Many times before we can begin to forgive others, we must first forgive ourselves.

We are often much harder on ourselves than we are on others.

We need to remember that Jesus had forgiven us. If we refuse to forgive ourselves, we are operating in pride and are holding ourselves in a higher position than the Lord.

Matthew 22 : 39 instructs us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. We need to learn and accept that, in Him we are a new creation, and a new creation is without fault.

Eph 2:14. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.

Who/What Can We Forgive?

forgive yourself,
forgive friends, family,
forgive your spouse - husband / wife,
forgive a cheater,
forgive a cheating spouse,
forgive your enemies,
forgive an abusive parent / partner,

forgive relationship infidelity /affair,
forgive hurtful actions/words,
forgive your own past mistakes,
forgive others' past mistakes,

When we don’t forgive, we make someone else’s behaviour "about us".

We carry their dysfunction and make it our own. We also take a great deal of this person’s negative attitude for them.

Prayer:
Father, help me to forgive ________. You know what they did. With Your help, I choose to forgive and release them from it. Thank You for giving
me Your love for them. I ask You to forgive them, too, and set them free by Your power and love. Thank You for helping me forget this and treat them as You would have me to. In Jesus` name I pray.