Sermon: Anger and sin/emotional healing 8th Jan 2011

Text: Eph 4:26 Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, 27 neither give place to the Devil.

The message Translation puts it this way: Eph 4:26 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry--but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. 27 Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Situations will come, when anger rises up within us. You plan your day and then life happens. At the workplace, a co-worker might pass a remark or a teacher might have something nasty to say about your child. So many opportunities will present itself during the course of any one-day, to `lose it`.

Sometimes a situation may cause you to want to lash out. Sometimes there is cause for righteous anger. When we see a situation where a minority group is oppressed or where a dictator overplays his hand.

The bottom line is this: “Be angry, and do not sin.”

We cannot allow our anger and the emotions in anger, to lead us to sin. Two wrongs will never make a `right`

Does that mean that we are to sit around like little `punch-bags`? No, definitely no!

We are to make a stand to defend the defenseless and to protect those who can not protect themselves.

But, always under the guidance of God and through Scripture.

Jesus would often confront the situation at hand, but always in love. He would always present the alternative.

Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are clearly revealed, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, fightings, jealousies, angers, rivalries, divisions, heresies, 21 envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revelings, and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, 23 meekness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 But those belonging to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

We can do a couple of things before we react:

1. Confirm the situation. Is there enough reason to react? Confrontation should never be a daily thing, it should never bring pleasure. If being confrontational gives you some sort of satisfaction or pleasure – check your motives.

2. Be sure of the facts and be specific. Don’t stray from the original cause for confrontation. Don’t get drawn into mud-slinging.

3. Be sensitive. Sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and sensitive to the other persons feelings. Confronting a situation does not grant us the right to be hurtful.

4. Oftentimes we need to remember, the confrontation is not about me, it’s about settling a situation. The situation is the problem, not the person.

“Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath”.

If a situation needs fixing, don’t dwell on it. Address it, face it, get it over and behind you. To dwell on it will harden your heart and will lead to sin.

Life is to short to walk around harboring offenses.

Let’s display God’s Grace and Mercy. In doing so, the devil has no foothold. His traps will stay empty.

It is not events or circumstances in our lives that lead to unhappiness and associated unhealthy emotional consequences, but rather our reaction to these events or circumstances. It is our irrational beliefs about and reactions to these events and circumstances that lead to unhealthy consequences.

You are responsible for your own emotions and actions.

Your harmful emotions and dysfunctional behaviors are the product of your irrational thinking.

You can learn to have more realistic views.

You'll experience a deeper acceptance of yourself and greater satisfactions in life by developing a reality-based perspective (to see something for what it really is)

This way of thinking will help you to distinguish clearly between practical problems and emotional problems.

Our flawed behavior, unfair treatment by others, and undesirable situations, represent practical problems. Our human tendency is to upset ourselves about these practical problems, thereby unnecessarily creating a second order of problems - emotional suffering.

Techniques to develop the steady self-control that people respond to and respect:

	1 Take responsibility for your distress. The first lesson in healthy emoting and relating was stated by the Roman philosopher Epictetus more than 2000 years ago: only you can upset yourself about events - the events themselves, no matter how undesirable, can never upset you.
	2 Acknowledge that neither another person, nor an adverse circumstance, can ever disturb you - only you can. Others can cause you physical pain or prevent you from achieving your goals, but you create your own emotional suffering, or self-defeating behavioral patterns, about what others do or say.
	3 Identify your "musts." Once you admit that you distort your own emotions and actions, determine precisely how. The culprit usually lies in one of the three core "musts":

	Must number 1 (a demand on yourself) "I must do well and get approval, or else I'm worthless." This demand causes anxiety, depression, and lack of assertiveness.
	Must number 2 (a demand on others) "You must treat me reasonably, considerately, and lovingly, or else you're no good." This "must" leads to resentment, hostility, and violence.
	Must number 3 (a demand on situations) "Life must be fair, easy, and hassle-free, or else it's awful." This thinking is associated with hopelessness, procrastination, and addictions.

	Acknowledge the demands you have of yourself, of your partner, or of your circumstances. Until you have discovered the "must" you won’t be able to reduce your distress.
	Dispute and question your "musts." The only way you can ever remain disturbed about adversity is by vigorously and persistently agreeing with one of these three "musts." Once you've acknowledged them, confront and question your demands.
	Begin by looking for evidence for your “must”? How is it true? You will find that your `must' is entirely false – without any evidence at all. Once you gain this insight your view becomes "must"-free, and your emotions can heal.
	Reinforce your preferences:

	Preference number 1 I strongly prefer to do well and get approval, but even if I fail, I will accept myself fully.
	Preference number 2 I strongly prefer that you treat me reasonably, kindly and lovingly, but since I don't run the universe, and it's a part of your human nature to make mistakes, I now know that I cannot control you.
	Preference number 3 I strongly prefer for life to be fair, easy, and hassle-free and it's very frustrating that it isn't, but I can bear frustration and still enjoy my life.

By using the above techniques you greatly reduce your anxiety, hostility, depression, and addictions. Without your turmoil, you will experience love, involvement, and joy more easily. Without your addictions, you'll be freer to engage in the gratifying experiences of spontaneity, commitment, and self-actualization.

Joh 13:34 I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. As I have loved you, you should also love one another.

Joh 8:31 Then Jesus said to the Jews who believed on Him, If you continue in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.