SELF-SABOTAGE

‘Before you can empower the reality of being fulfilled and complete, you have to stop empowering the reality that you are not …’ (Anonymous)

If you have the desire, skill and knowledge to achieve something but you are not achieving it, you are probably ’sabotaging‘ yourself. Subconscious beliefs that you are not good enough and that you don’t deserve what you set out to achieve will prevent you from being successful.

Breaking your diet, procrastination, failed relationships, and so on, are all typical symptoms of self-sabotage.

Jos 1:7 Only be strong and very courageous so that you may be careful to do according to all the Law which My servant Moses commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may act wisely wherever you go. 8 This book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it by day and by night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall act wisely.

You destroy your confidence by your own behavior patterns when you start a project and give up after a while. The same thing happens when you think of many reasons why you can’t do something—for instance, go to gym on a particular day—because you find something ‘more urgent or more important’ to do instead. This type of behavior causes negative thoughts and self-talk such as ‘I’ll never be able to do this’ or ‘I’m so useless…’ Your motivation and self-esteem drop every time this happens.

Phi 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things.

We create our own experiences. When people treat you badly or constantly reject you, you need to ask yourself whether you are subconsciously asking to be treated that way ‘because you don’t deserve better’ or ‘because you’re not good enough.’ You ‘ask for it’ non-verbally and subconsciously. The fact is that people will treat you the way you subconsciously want to be treated. Encouraging others to treat you with disrespect so that you can be a victim is prime self-sabotaging behavior.

Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit. 9 But we should not lose heart in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not faint.

Symptoms of self-sabotage:

Dissatisfaction with life
A desire for drama or crisis
Addictive behaviour
Weight loss with equal or more weight gain afterwards
Excessive worrying
Procrastination
Depression or mood swings
Putting yourself down
Lack of trust in people or in your own abilities
Inability to finish things
The need to be in an abusive relationship
Jeopardising or destroying good relationships, jobs, etc.

How to reverse or eliminate self-sabotaging behavior

You need to be completely honest with yourself about your behavior. Not admitting that you have a problem is also self-sabotage. You must intend to change your behavior.

But intending alone is not enough. Set goals—with detailed steps to be taken and diarised deadlines. Work with a coach or close friend who will hold you accountable and monitor your progress.

Our behavior is governed by our perceptions and beliefs.

Jer 29:11 For I know the purposes which I am purposing for you, says Jehovah; purposes of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

If you want to change your behavior, you need to change your beliefs regarding a situation or issue. If you don’t know how to uncover your beliefs - that drive the behaviors that do not serve you - you need to seek help from a good coach, counselor or therapist because they are trained to help people change their limiting perceptions and beliefs.

When we know better we do better!