Conflict Seekers

Rom 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as far as is in you, being in peace with all men. 19 not avenging yourselves, beloved, but giving place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

Do you work, live, or interact with someone who seems determined to engage you in some kind of conflict? Do you find yourself getting hooked into their drama and before you know it you are in a no-win situation? How does this happen and why?

Pro 12:20 Deceit is in the heart of those who imagine evil, but to counselors of peace there is joy. 21 No evil shall happen to the just, but the wicked shall be filled with mischief.

The reasons are many but they usually have to do with someone wanting you to fight with them. You swear that you will never let yourself get drawn into such behavior again but before you know it, it’s happened.

Ecc 7:9 (msg) Don't be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.

How should you respond to the hostile baiting that some people engage in? First be aware that on some level there is a pay-off for their behavior and secondly remember you choose your responses. Consider the following suggestions:

TIPS TO AVOID BEING HOOKED BY SOMEONE SEEKING CONFLICT WITH YOU

1. Recognize when you are being baited;

2. Listen carefully to the words being used to draw you into a fight;

3. Don't give the person the pay-off they seek – don’t fight;

4. You can't get drawn into a fight if you don’t participate;

5. Remember that if you get drawn into the person’s need for a fight you are making a conscious choice to fight;

6. Bait is bait is bait, no matter how tiny or innocent it may seem;

7. You may not even know that you are being drawn into a fight;

8. People who actively seek conflict are often encouraged when there are others present to witness their performance;

9. If you don’t participate in the conflict the pay-off is removed and the conflict seeker will stop baiting you for a fight;

10. If it looks like bait and smells like bait, it must be bait. Don't take the bait!

Pro 19:11 (msg) Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.

If you find yourself getting hooked, forgive yourself and the person who was fishing for the fight. If you find yourself baiting others you need to STOP your behavior. Acknowledge what the pay-off for your behavior is so that you can change it. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge!