Conflict Seekers

Rom 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as far as is in you, being in peace with all men. 19 not avenging yourselves, beloved, but giving place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

Do you work, live, or interact with someone who seems determined to engage you in some kind of conflict? Do you find yourself getting hooked into their drama and before you know it you are in a no-win situation? How does this happen and why?

Pro 12:20 Deceit is in the heart of those who imagine evil, but to counselors of peace there is joy. 21 No evil shall happen to the just, but the wicked shall be filled with mischief.

The reasons are many but they usually have to do with someone wanting you to fight with them. You swear that you will never let yourself get drawn into such behavior again but before you know it, it’s happened.

Ecc 7:9 (msg) Don't be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.

How should you respond to the hostile baiting that some people engage in? First be aware that on some level there is a pay-off for their behavior and secondly remember you choose your responses. Consider the following suggestions:

TIPS TO AVOID BEING HOOKED BY SOMEONE SEEKING CONFLICT WITH YOU

1. Recognize when you are being baited;

2. Listen carefully to the words being used to draw you into a fight;

3. Don't give the person the pay-off they seek – don’t fight;

4. You can't get drawn into a fight if you don’t participate;

5. Remember that if you get drawn into the person’s need for a fight you are making a conscious choice to fight;

6. Bait is bait is bait, no matter how tiny or innocent it may seem;

7. You may not even know that you are being drawn into a fight;

8. People who actively seek conflict are often encouraged when there are others present to witness their performance;

9. If you don’t participate in the conflict the pay-off is removed and the conflict seeker will stop baiting you for a fight;

10. If it looks like bait and smells like bait, it must be bait. Don't take the bait!

Pro 19:11 (msg) Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.

If you find yourself getting hooked, forgive yourself and the person who was fishing for the fight. If you find yourself baiting others you need to STOP your behavior. Acknowledge what the pay-off for your behavior is so that you can change it. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge!

Rise up 2

People of integrity will not deny or avoid problems, but face into them actively.

They are not people of denial, avoiding the proverbial “elephant in the living room,” acting as if some big issue does not exist. They actively move to face and deal with problems, including people.

This is rooted in our God, who as soon as the universe fell, actively went to Adam and Eve, dealt with the problem, and came up with a redemptive solution.

This is rooted in our God, who as soon as the universe fell, actively went to Adam and Eve, dealt with the problem, and came up with a redemptive solution.

It is similar to the wise person who gets a toothache and immediately goes to the dentist.

Prompt action will solve it and he will get his life back. Delay may cause him to wake up one night with an abscess, unable to function. People of mature, integrated character know this and are equipped to do it. That equipment is their character, and it has several components.

Joh 8:31 Then Jesus said to the Jews who believed on Him, If you continue in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

For a lot of people, freedom means that they are physically free – from imprisonment and restraint - but the ultimate and most exquisite form of freedom is making your own decisions and choices – having total control of your own life. Recognizing and exercising this freedom means that you accept responsibility for your life in every respect - your thoughts, words, actions, choices, decisions and creations.

The quality of your choices and decisions can be determined by the quality of life you experience as a result of those choices and decisions.

The fact is that we don’t always believe that we have choices. We often believe that others have power over us – and that’s why they make our choices and decisions for us. The fact is that we give them the power to make our choices and decisions for us. Not choosing something is in fact also a choice – because you choose not to choose. Just because you feel helpless or powerless in a situation doesn’t mean that you are not choosing or making decisions. When you sit by and watch others control you are ultimately responsible for it because you decided to allow the control. You choose the event by allowing it.

In order to make really good choices and decisions you need to have a very good understanding of your own needs, fears, emotions, moods, desires, pain, strengths and weaknesses. This is called self-awareness.

Phi 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things. 9 Do those things which you have also learned and received and heard and seen in me. And the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me has flourished again. Although you indeed did think, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak according to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am.

It is not events or circumstances in our lives that lead to unhappiness and associated unhealthy emotional consequences, but rather our reaction to these events or circumstances. It is our irrational beliefs about and reactions to these events and circumstances that lead to unhealthy consequences.

Rise Up!

Gen 13:17 Rise up and walk through the land, in the length of it and in the breadth of it, for I will give it to you.

Helen Keller wrote, "If we trust, if we relinquish our will and yield to the Divine will, then we find that we are afloat on a buoyant sea of peace and under us are the everlasting arms."

Someone once said: “In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives a message of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage-so long are you young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, are you grown old.”

In the Garden of Eden, things were perfect. We did not have to deal with the “knowledge of good and evil.” We just existed, loved, and worked. But now, things are different. Literally everything we will ever do, touch, be involved in, try, know, or experience will be affected by the negative reality of a fallen, imperfect universe.

God did not cause the fall of the earth. But, he put his arms around the problem and fixed it. A CEO might not have caused a bad market, but a good one will take ownership of the poor results of the company and move to fix it. He will not sit there and just blame the market. He will fix the problem.

A parent with a child who is not performing will not just blame the teacher or the school. He or she will care about the problem and take ownership of it and fix it.

And, with problems where one is at fault, the person of integrity owns the fault, confesses it, and works to make it better. He does not shift the blame trying to preserve some “good self” to himself or others. He is not like the person who tries to always make himself look good, and as a result does not solve problems.

The person of integrity confronts problems well, becoming a force for redemption instead of destruction.

This means that when they confront others that they do it actively, but they also do it fruitfully. They do it like God does, not to destroy a person, but to redeem him or her. They do it like God does, with a combination of grace and truth.

Some people confront with truth only, and as a result destroy the person. They are harsh, mean, shaming, angry or abusive. This does not produce a good result. Others, confront with a lot of grace, but do not deliver all of the truth. They go too soft on how bad the problem really is. God comes forth in his character with both: total love, and total truth that deals with the problem.

This means that he or she does not let problems or failures continue on by holding grudges, unforgiveness, and labeling people after there has been a problem and that problem has been dealt with. The person of integrity grieves the issue (deals with his or her feelings), forgives, puts the person back in a “debt free” standing, and moves on. They ‘get over it’.

In managing people, being married, having friends, or parenting, this is one of the most important things that we can do. Everyone will fail us. When we have dealt with it, we have to let it go for things to get good again and progress past the problem. We cannot keep someone in the “dog house.” We have to let go of bitterness for the person to thrive past failure and for our relationship as well.

The best way to deal with a negative reality is to never have it in the first place.

In the end, there are only two ways to live life. We can face the problems and negative realities that come into our lives and exist in the world around us, and thrive. Or, we can choose to not face them and have them destroy us. The first is more difficult in the beginning and leads to life, profits, fruitfulness, love and other good things. The second is easier in the beginning, but it leads to horrible things and ultimately destruction in the end. There are two ways….easy first, hard later, or hard first, easy later. God’s way is face the problems now, and you will thrive in the end.

But, to do that requires certain character abilities. As we work on those through spiritual growth, we can resolve the negative realities in the strength and the way of the One who did it best.

This means that people of integrity avoid a lot of problems by their strength of character in saying “no” to things that are not good for them. They do not go forward into things that do not feel right, don’t smell right, are with “not so good people,” are hair-brained, or whatever. If something is wrong with it, they just say “no.” They can walk away.

I believe that a `full life` starts at the level of trust we put in God. The more we trust, the more fulfillment we have.

A Different road

Mat 2:11 And coming into the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother. And they fell down and worshiped Him. And opening their treasures, they presented gifts to Him, gold and frankincense and myrrh. 12 And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way. 13 And when they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise and take the young child and His mother and flee into Egypt. And be there until I bring you word, for Herod is about to seek the child to destroy Him.

The followers of Christ travel by a different road.

The wise men traveled by a different road as they left Bethlehem because of a divine communication that came to them.

Wise men who come to Jesus Christ today travel a different road thereafter because of the divine gift of a new nature and because of the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, which is the gift of God to those who receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior (Gal 4:5 That he might make them free who were under the law, and that we might be given the place of sons. 6 And because you are sons, God has sent out the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, saying, Abba, Father. 7 So that you are no longer a servant, but a son; and if a son, then the heritage of God is yours.)


The different road that the disciples are to follow as a result of letting Jesus Christ become Lord is demonstrated and clarified in Paul's letter to the Ephesians.

He shows at least four different ways in which we are to walk.

A. We are to "walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called" (Eph. 4:1). The apostle is affirming that belief in Jesus Christ as Lord should result in behavior that is worthy of one's new relationship to God.

 Believers are to respond to the highest and best that is within them because they have received through the new-birth experience the new nature that comes from God.

 This new nature is to be worked out in actual experi-ence and is to result in good works that magnify and glorify God (Phi 2:12 So then, my loved ones, as you have at all times done what I say, not only when I am present, but now much more when I am not with you, give yourselves to working out your salvation with fear in your hearts; 13 For it is God who is the cause of your desires and of your acts, for his good pleasure.)

B. We are to "walk in love" (Eph. 5:2).

 The love of which Paul speaks is agape love, the God-kind of love that expresses itself in a persistent, unbreak-able spirit of goodwill toward others.

 This kind of love can demonstrate kindness and helpfulness even toward the most unattractive.

 This imperative does not call for an emotional attraction, but for a Christian response both to those inside the faith and to those outside the family of God.

C. We are to "walk as children of light" (Eph. 5:8). Verse 9 explains what this means: "(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)" (NIV).

 To walk in the light is to walk conscious of the fact that we are always in God's presence.

 It means to walk in complete transparency. It means to walk differently from the ungodly world.

D. We are to walk in wisdom rather than in foolishness (v. 15).

 Followers of Christ are to watch their step and not follow the ways of foolishness and stu-pidity that lead to self-destruction and to harmfulness to others.

 To accomplish this we must continually seek to know the mind of God.

 We can do this best by listening to the words of Jesus Christ and not only hear him, but heed him (Matt. 7:24-27).

Helen Keller wrote, "If we trust, if we relinquish our will and yield to the Divine will, then we find that we are afloat on a buoyant sea of peace and under us are the everlasting arms."

Moody said, "Trust in yourself, and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in your friends, and they will die and leave you; trust in reputation, and some slanderous tongue may blast it; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity." Luther gave a similar testimony when he said, "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."

What do we still have in our lives, that would come between us and God, that would prevent us from walking in the fullness of His blessing, His presence in our daily walk?

Is there something that we need to lay aside, something to put away and out of our lives, to experience His power?
 Unwillingness to forgive,
 pride, arrogance,
 the little `white lie`,
 the doubt.

It is so easy to allow something, to creep in, to get a foothold, thereby preventing us to walk in His fullness.

1Ki 8:56 Praise be to the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, as he gave them his word to do; every word of all his oath, which he gave by the hand of Moses his servant, has come true. 57 Now may the Lord our God be with us as he was with our fathers; let him never go away from us or give us up; 58 Turning our hearts to himself, guiding us to go in all his ways, to keep his orders and his laws and his decisions, which he gave to our fathers.

Doubt and unbelief, will be eradicated from our lives, once we purposefully decide to follow the instruction of the Word.

This does not happen by itself, it is the result of a conscious decision.

Joh 15:7 If you abide in Me, and My Words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done to you. 8 In this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, so you shall be My disciples. 9 As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you; continue in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you shall abide in My love, even as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.

Even Sceptics should Plan :

Zig Ziglar : Football Coach, motivational Speaker and Author said this : Nobody plans to fail, but most people fail to plan.

Anybody in the house who wants to fail - show of hands please. Thought so - now - if nobody wants to fail, why so many "less sucesful people" ?

Listen to this : "Scepticism, in connection with all new ideas, is characteristic of all human beings. But if you follow the instructions outlined, your scepticism will soon be replaced by belief, and this in turn, will soon become crystallized into absolute faith. This from a book "Think and grow rich" by Napoleon Hill. Now he does not even point to the Word but yet he can make the statement becuase he realized, that if you follow clearly directed instructions - you will have succes.

Is that not what Josh 1 say. : let`s read Josh 1 :

God - through His promise to Abraham said "Yes - you and Sarah will have a child" It was up to Abraham to say "so be it" Paul said "Abraham staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief ( Rom 4:20 ). That "Stagger" means - to argue within yourself. Someone who staggers or wavers, can never make up his mind.

How often do we, when faced with a challenge to believe, argue within ourselves. We start with a "well God said".....but often then go into a "but that can`t be"

When we read that God says "now test me in this, see if I will not open the windows of heaven" or when He says "give and it shall be given back to you" or when the Word says ...."and my God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches and glory"

When we go that route, we have lost the argument even before it began. Like when I argue with my wife. It`s a done deal, I`ve lost.

Sceptics just love to debate or argue the point - love to argue the negative. What about just following the instructions for a change.

Before we can walk in love, peace, prosperity, on a consistent basis, you must first understand it`s source. 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. In other words - He is the source, the author of love. Everything you could ever need or want is in that source - power, prosperity, healing and forgiveness. But it`s only by tapping into and staying plugged into that source that God is able to pour these blessings upon our lives.

We can not buy God`s favour or blessings through our giving - but we can surely walk in His principles.

In our giving offerings and bringing our tithes - we say "Lord, we are definitely no sceptics, we are believers" we will walk by faith and not by sight.

Daydreaming

I remember way back when in school, how easy it was to sit and stare out the window, dreaming about the future, of owning a fast car, being a superhero and so on. The classroom and the teacher definitely not part of my dream.

How quickly do we begin to get distracted by the cares of the world? We think about the negative, the mundane, the ugly side of life.

It is at moments like that, when thinking about the sad side of life, that the enemy steps in, to abuse our thoughts, for his purpose.

Phi 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things.

The Word of God encourages us, to think on what is good and edifying. God does not want us, to waste our thought energy, on the things that breaks down and not build up.

Often during counselling sessions, I have discovered that the problems the counsellee struggles with, are perceptions and the result of `wrong thinking`.

We are so quick to think and focus on false realities, on issues that do not even exist, so much so, that we fall apart, without proper cause.

1. “whatever things are true”: this thing that bothers you, the story you’ve heard. Is it actually true or is it just a rumor, designed to spoil your day.

2. “whatever things are honest”: this venture you are planning, the action you want to embark on. Is it based in honesty and with integrity? Will people be hurt because of it? Will reputations be destroyed?

3. “whatever things are right”: I have learnt that there is: the nice thing to do, the `good` thing to do and the “right” thing to do. What are you doing? Is it nice, good or right? A white lie may seem to be the best thing to do, but is it the right thing. A Lie remains a lie, no matter what.

4. “whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely”: Am I thinking vengeful thoughts or what? The Lord reminds us that He will vindicate us and that vengeance belongs to Him. Therefore I should be thinking on what is pure and lovely. When we contemplate vengeance, it never goes with pure and lovely thoughts.

5. “, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise”: The rumor I feel like starting up – is it based on truth or just plainly, a bad report. Should I be starting the rumor in the first place? When I discuss my friends, my colleagues, my pastor, whoever, do I speak words of praise or condemnation?

Mat 5:44 But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you,

Daydreaming is OK, when it builds up. Just don’t do it while operating heavy machinery.

Christ, the Master Builder

Agostino d'Antonio, a sculptor of Florence, wrought diligently but unsuccessfully on a large piece of marble. "I can do nothing with it," he finally said. Other sculptors tried their hand at it, but they too gave up the task. The stone lay on a rubbish heap for forty years.

Out strolling one day, Michelangelo saw the stone and its latent possibilities and ordered it brought to his studio. He began to work upon it, and ultimately his vision and work were crowned with success. From that seemingly worthless stone he carved one of the world's masterpieces of sculpture-David!

The secret lay in Michelangelo, not in the stone. Look at life-your own with all its disappointments, and the lives of others with all that God has accomplished in them or all that He is able to accomplish. Expect Him to produce a masterpiece because you know the quality of the work of the Master Builder, Christ.

Deu 30:19 I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. 20 And love GOD, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that GOD, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Everything in life, from the minute I get up from bed, to the time I fall asleep, depends on choice. I choose what to wear ( sometimes not with the best dress sense ), I choose what I eat, how I will conduct myself during the day, everything I am and do, depends on the choices I make.

The thing about choice is this: every choice I make does and will have a consequence!

Therefore, the moment I choose, the minute I make the decision, I also accept the consequence. If I choose to speed down the hi-way and I end up getting caught for speeding, I have no right to complain about the fine. It was the consequence of my decision to speed.

God has given me the choice on how I will live my life.

Yes, sometimes, bad things happen to good people, people who decide to live right in the eyes of God. But someone chose to commit an act of violence, some hooligan decides to act out against me. The choice of my reaction is mine.

The life of a Christian can be described in one of four ways: as a journey, as a battle, as a pilgrimage, and as a race. Select your own metaphor, but the necessity to finish is always the same. For if life is a journey, it must be completed. If life is a battle, it must be finished. If life is a pilgrimage, it must be concluded. And if it is a race, it must be won.

Therefore, in a sense, I can choose to spend my life, on a `rubbish heap` as an unfinished work, or, I can choose to submit my life, into the hands of the `master artist` and allow Him, to chip away everything and anything, that does not conform to His image.

Allow Him to create the `masterpiece` He had in mind in the first place.

Restoring Integrity:

Mat 5:34 But I say to you, Do not swear at all! Not by Heaven, because it is God's throne; 35 not by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet; not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King; 36 nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 But let your word be, Yes, yes; No, no. For whatever is more than these comes from evil.

Are you out of integrity with yourself and others? Ask yourself these questions?

 Who would you try to avoid if you bumped into them?
 Are you involved in any activity, which you won’t reveal to anyone else?
 Are you involved with anyone you wouldn’t readily introduce to your colleagues, family or spiritual leader?
 Do you have debts you don’t or won’t pay?
 Is there anything you do without your spouse or partner’s knowledge?
 Are there things about your life right now that you would rather not tell your children?
 Do you have in your possession things that you borrowed and never returned?
 Do you take credit for others’ work?
 Is there a perfectly good reason for you having two cell phones?
 Do you ever check up on your spouse / partner / children / staff?
 Do you read other people’s mail / e-mails / smses?
 Are your taxes paid up to date?
 Do you allow people to belittle or humiliate you?
 Are you always where you say are?
 Do you promise to do things when you have no intention of doing it?
 Do you misrepresent yourself?
 Are you addicted to any substance or do you have self-destructive habits?

By allowing others to abuse you or your relationship in any way, you are out of integrity with yourself. Shakespeare wrote: “To thine own self be true.” It is self-defeating to give your power away in this manner.

Decide to behave with integrity – it’s a choice. Acting and behaving with integrity creates high energy levels and it heals the body on a cellular level.

Pro 11:3 The integrity of the honest keeps them on track; the deviousness of crooks brings them to ruin. 4 A thick bankroll is no help when life falls apart, but a principled life can stand up to the worst. 5 Moral character makes for smooth traveling; an evil life is a hard life.


Communicate with integrity

Pro 11:13 A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence. 14 Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.


How do you respond when there is conflict or a stressful situation at the office? Do you avoid the subject or person? Do you get angry? Do you go into denial?

To start communicating with integrity do the following:

 Everything you say should be true. Do not be tempted to lie about anything. If you are found out people will lose their respect and trust in you.
 Do not gossip or repeat anything you hear. Change the subject subtly when someone starts to gossip.
 Clarify and confirm what the other person is saying before jumping to conclusions. Only respond to feedback once you are certain that you know and understand what was said.
 Stick to the subject at hand. Don’t use a previously bad situation as a weapon in order to gain the upper hand in a conversation, meeting or feedback session.
 Never curse or swear. It is unprofessional and you will lose the respect of others.
 Do not disconnect a telephone call when you feel upset or angry. It is unprofessional to slam down the phone.
 Stay calm and watch your intention when you speak.

 Decide to resolve the issue amicably and with respect. If you find it impossible to discuss the issue on the phone, make arrangements to meet. By the time you are face-to-face you would be much calmer and able to resolve your issues.
 Say “please”, “thank you” and “I am sorry” when necessary.
 Do not make decisions about a person based on ‘hear-say’ or reports from others. Speak to the person direct and hear their side.

Anger and sin

Eph 4:26 Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, 27 neither give place to the Devil.

The message Translation puts it this way: Eph 4:26 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry--but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. 27 Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Situations will come, when anger rises up within us. You plan your day and the life happens. At the workplace, a co-worker might pass a remark or a teacher might have something nasty to say about your child. So many opportunities will present itself during the course of any one-day, to `lose it`.

Sometimes a situation may cause you to want to lash out. Sometimes there is cause for righteous anger. When we see a situation where a minority group is oppressed or where a dictator overplays his hand.

The bottom line is this: “Be angry, and do not sin.”

We can not allow our anger and the emotions in anger, lead us to sin. Two wrongs, will never make a `right`

Does that mean that we are to sit around like little `punch-bags`? No, definitely no!

We are to make a stand to defend the defenseless and to protect those who can not protect themselves.

But always, under the guidance of God and through Scripture.

Jesus would often confront the situation at hand, but always in love. He would always present the alternative.

We can do a couple of things before we react:

1. Confirm the situation. Is there enough reason to react? Confrontation should never be a daily thing, it should never bring pleasure. If being confrontational gives you some sort of satisfaction or pleasure – check your motives.

2. Be sure of the facts and be specific. Don’t stray from the original cause for confrontation. Don’t get drawn into mud-slinging.

3. Be sensitive. Sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and sensitive to the other persons feelings. Confronting a situation does not grant us the right to be hurtful.

4. Oftentimes we need to remember, the confrontation is not about me, it’s about settling a situation. The situation is the problem, not the person.

“Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath”.

If a situation needs fixing, don’t dwell on it. Address it, face it, get it over and behind you. To dwell on it will harden your heart and will lead to sin.

Life is to short to walk around harboring offenses.

Let’s display God’s Grace and Mercy. In doing so, the devil has no foothold. His traps will stay empty.

Self-Leadership and Self-Management

Mat 7:2 For with whatever judgment you judge, you shall be judged; and with whatever measure you measure out, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why do you look on the splinter that is in your brother's eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye?

Self-leadership is about recognizing opportunities for growth, learning and gaining insights in your own life. Self-leadership is about educating yourself – it is a learning behavior. How does one become truly self-leading? There are a number of aspects to self-leadership:

 Personal values
 Intentions (knowing your purpose)
 Behavior
 Vision Skills to recognize opportunities to contribute and to influence others to contribute.

Self-awareness
2Ti 2:15 Study earnestly to present yourself approved to God, a workman that does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.

Knowing yourself is crucial to your own development. Self-awareness is about knowing and understanding your own values, intentions, strengths and weaknesses. It is a deep understanding and commitment to learning and growth.
Lack of awareness and unwillingness to be influenced by others through feedback are two of the main reasons for personal failures. We are unwilling to listen to others’ feedback regarding our flaws. Willingness to listening to feedback from our supporters and our critics is the first step to self-awareness.

Self-awareness through feedback
A very simple, yet effective 360-degree self-assessment is “Stop, Start, Continue.” Ask your manager, peers and direct reports to give you constructive feedback on what you have to stop doing; start doing and continue to do.

Personal vision and intention
Hab 2:3 For the vision is still for an appointed time, but it speaks to the end, and it does not lie. Though it lingers, wait for it; because it will surely come. It will not tarry.

Having a clear and compelling vision of what you want and the intention to develop and learn are crucial components of self-leadership. Developing a personal vision requires taking time to deeply reflect upon your own needs and desires.

Self-leaders are always aware of what is required of them by their professions and organisations. A deep understanding of and full participation in the development of your career creates a sense of engagement and purposeful intent without which the work of developing as a self-leader would be meaningless.

A SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) is an ideal way of understanding the evolving environment of your career and discovering the competencies you need to excel.

Continuously striving to develop your character and behaviors is the key to self-leadership. The willingness to develop from within, through a process of self-discovery and learning, creates the most powerful and lasting changes.

Gal 6:9 But we should not lose heart in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not faint.

Courageous Fathers. a Fathersday message to Fathers

Eph 6:4 And fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 4 Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. 4 Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.

Courageous fatherhood

In his book `Courageous manhood` Ed Cole makes a couple of statements :

 Heroes are men who act in a moment of time on a need greater than themselves

 It takes courage to hold convictions, to change, to admit need, to face reality, and to make decisions.

 Champions are not men who never fail, but men who never quit.

 Men need not pray for opportunities, but pray to be ready when opportunities come.

What makes a good father - I believe that you can only learn that from two places : an excellent example who can mentor you or from an owners manual - we are God`s workmanship - his creation - and therefore we come with an owners manual - The Bible : God`s instruction manual for every matter in life.

1 Heroes are men who act in a moment of time on a need greater than themselves :

I believe, that in every man`s life, you will experience a defining moment. We all come to a certain amount of cross roads in our lives that will call for action. It will also most probably be a moment or a situation that calls for something which you might have thought you did not have within you. How will you act when the day of choice comes - when your child - who at this point in time cries out for a father`s assistance - when she was hurt by a boyfriend, when she got abused or when he fell for the temptation out there - will you respond and say - I am here - rest with me.

2 It takes courage to hold convictions, to change, to admit need, to face reality, and to make decisions :


3 Champions are not men who never fail, but men who never quit. :

I like to belief that I know and have all the answers - but one thing I have learned in my walk with God is this : you can walk before God in only one of two ways : you are either `humble` or you are being `humbled`

Champions are those who experienced the feeling of being humbled, who decided to get up after a fall - but who then chose to stay humbled.

Jesus told His disciples, I did not come to be served, but to serve.

Our biggest roles we can ever fulfill as husbands and fathers are those of servants. We are here to serve our wives and children - not as slaves but as men of courage who know how to honour our wives by honouring our children.

We were given dominion over the earth and the animals - but we were told to become one flesh with our wives. We are not the slave masters of our children - we are the heroes who lead them and guide them through our leadership through servanthood.

To many boys grow up to be womanisers, abusers of women and children - bullies, because of the example they see. It is a well proven fact - that the children of abusers run a 90% risk to become that which they experienced in life.

4 Men need not pray for opportunities, but pray to be ready when opportunities come.

This is a major point - dad - where do babies come from : Wow ! Go ask your mother.

I did not pray or ask for many of the things that happened to me - it was part of life - life happens - but if there was ever a true piece of advice - this is it : Pray that we are ready and equipped when the moment comes.

I am begging that we all should pray that we are ready for the challenges of being courageous fathers. Men whose children will be proud to say

Hey - that`s MY Dad !

ACCEPTANCE

Will you be able to get anywhere in life without having to prove yourself?

Is life more about what you have, how you look and what you can “deliver” or is the REAL YOU good enough? Do people still trust your word of honor, or do they expect that you should show them what you are made of?

It seems that, in today’s society people’s word of honor don’t count for anything anymore.

Still, the Bible tells us in James 5:12 “Above all my brothers, do not swear – not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be “Yes” and your “No” be “No” or you will be condemned”.

Through the years we have learned to believe the “Father of Lies” (John. 8:44.)

Who I am and what I say is not important, I need to prove myself to the world, and therefore people have been lying and manipulating each other only to get what they want. WHY?

Because it is all about ME, what I want, what will make ME happy!!!

We have a “if you……...I will” attitude in life.

If you are good enough………I will give you what you want,
If you are beautiful enough……I will be your guy or girl,
If you are rich enough………. I will give you the attention you want,
If you are popular enough ……..I will see you,
If you are clever enough ……..I will give you recognition,
If you give in under pressure …..I will make you well-liked.

We want to be accepted in life, but we have learned to wear masks, because who we are, are not good enough.

As long you compare yourself to others you will never be good enough! There will always be someone smarter, or better looking, or more popular or richer then you.

Fortunately there is Someone who thinks you are perfect just the way you are, even with all your faults and sins. He does not want you to change first before He loves you. He doesn’t want you to prove yourself to Him. He has accepted you the way you are, and have ALREADY paid for all your sins.

JESUS THINKS YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!

God doesn’t want proof –He wants commitment.
All He wants is for you to believe in His Son.
Rom. 10:9-10

In John. 8:15 Jesus tells us that He passes judgment on no one. In John 3:16 God sent His Son to the world to save it, not condemn it. That is His LOVE to us. That is how much He loves you!!!

Jesus never asked His disciples to prove themselves to Him.
He didn’t put them through a fitness test.
He didn’t choose them for their looks and He didn’t asked them how rich or popular they are.

HE JUST ASKED FOR A COMMITMENT.

Self control

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

No person should allow another person to control his/her life. Circumstance can not take charge of your life. ‘Things’ happen. ‘Life’ happens. Bad things happen to good people.

It’s not about what happens to you – it’s about the way you respond to the things that happen to you.

Pro 25:28 A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.

Have you ever seen an abandoned house – after vandals and hooligans got hold of it?

The Bible compares a person without self control to just that.

In order to avoid my house being vandalized and damaged, I have to protect it, I have to place guards around it if need be, in order to avoid permanent damage.

Pro 4:23 Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts.

I can not leave my heart unprotected. I need to be so careful who I allow into my heart. Some will come in and take good care, but others will come in and create a mess, and when they leave they do not care about the damage they leave behind. Guess who needs to clean up and pick up the pieces.

Self-control helps me to protect that which is important to me.

Rom 12:1 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life, your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 2 don’t become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed
maturity in you.

Self control comes with a sense of accountability.

 I am responsible for my actions.

 I determine the actions I am willing to take.

 I control the thoughts I entertain.

 I decide the path of life I want to travel on.

 God has the best plan for my life, but I decide to follow that plan or not to follow it.

Recall God's Mercies

Lamentations 3:21-23
"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassion's fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."


God is faithful. He's full of compassion. His mercies are new every morning. As a believer, you know all that. But simply knowing it is not enough.

For it to do you any good, you have to recall it. You have to remember it again and again in order to rekindle your hope and stir your faith.

So, make it a point to remind yourself of God's faithfulness every morning. Remind yourself of the benefits that are yours in Jesus.

What are those benefits? Psalm 103 spells them out:

Psa 103:1 A Psalm of David. Bless Jehovah, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name. 2 Bless Jehovah, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; 3who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; 4 who redeems your life from ruin; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies; 5 who satisfies your mouth with good; your youth is renewed like the eagle's. 6 Jehovah works righteousness and judgment for all who are pressed down. 7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. 8 Jehovah is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and rich in mercy. 9 He will not always chasten, nor will He keep His anger forever. 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, so is His mercy toward those who fear Him. 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father pities his children, Jehovah pities those who fear Him. 14 For He knows our form; He remembers that we are dust.


1. He forgives all your sins.

2. He heals all your diseases.

3. He redeems your life from destruction.

4. He crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies.

5. He satisfies your mouth with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6. He executes righteousness and judgment for you against oppression. He sets you free.

7. He makes known His ways to you.

8. He gives you His grace and mercy in times of need.


Make it a point every morning this year to say those things out loud to the Lord. Stand before Him in prayer and recall His mercies to you. Keep it up and by the end of this year you'll be stronger in faith and more confident of God's love than you've ever been before.

Don't just settle for knowing God's blessings. Remember them every day and watch them come alive in you.

Abba Father

Often times, instead of taking the road less travelled, we embark on the road, well travelled. We follow the ideologies of man and the demands of a popular society and when we do this, so often we end up in the “oh woe is me’ category of life.

Sometimes, just because we do not know any better, we make the wrong decision, take the wrong option and end up in misery and despair.

Welcome to the world of so many. Many before and many after will make the wrong choice. But. There is hope!

Hos 13:9 O Israel, you have destroyed yourself; but in Me is your help.

As a people, the whole nation of Israel took the wrong direction. They opted for the popular choice and brought calamity upon themselves. But read and listen to the words of God. He does not condemn, He reminds them, that in Him, lies their salvation and their rescue.

Hos 14:4 I will heal their backslidings; I will love them freely; for My anger has turned away from him. 5 I will be as the dew to Israel; he shall grow as the lily and cast out his roots like Lebanon. 6 His branches shall spread, and his beauty shall be as the olive tree, and his smell as Lebanon. 7 They who dwell under his shadow shall return; they shall revive like the grain, and grow like the vine. Their scent shall be as the wine of Lebanon.

 “I will love them freely”. It is by His grace and His mercy, that we are saved, not by works. “I will heal their backslidings”. Try as we might, we can not heal ourselves, only the Great Physician, Jehovah Rapha, the Lord our Healer, can heal our iniquities.

 “for My anger has turned away from him”. In His grace and in His mercy, He no longer remembers our sin. Isa 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, says Jehovah; though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;

 “I will be as the dew to Israel”, he will be the provider, He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord our provider. He will never leave nor forsake those who cry out to Him.

 “They who dwell under his shadow shall return”. Psa 91:1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall rest under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of Jehovah, my refuge and my fortress; my God; in Him I will trust. 3 Surely He will deliver you from the fowler's trap and from the destroying plague. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall trust. His truth shall be your shield, and buckler.

Through our own actions and wrong choices, we may become lost and desperate, but we have a God who is more than able, a Father whose heart yearns after His children, a safe haven and a covenant, covered by a mercy seat.

All we have to do is cry out “Abba Father”

Blessed to become a blessing

Gal 3:14 so that the blessing of Abraham might be to the nations in Jesus Christ, and that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

As we bless others, we are allowing the beneficial life or force of God that has been conferred upon us and resides within us to be transmitted through us. Jesus said that when the Holy Ghost comes to us that rivers of living water will flow out from us.

Unfortunately, there's a tendency that when a benefit of God comes to us, we stop it and turn the rivers into swamps. Any river that cannot flow ceases to be a river and becomes a swamp.

The Jordan River in Israel flows into what is called the Dead Sea. While the Dead Sea's water is part of the Jordan River, which is alive and full of fish, after it enters the Dead Sea, nothing can live in it. This once vibrant water becomes stagnant because it can no longer flow freely. The water dies and begins to stink.

Sadly, that is what happens in the body of Christ. God does a special work and creates a river within the lives of His people, but the living waters become a swamp because we stop the flow.

We all acknowledge that God wants to bless us, but we have not truly understood that He wants to bless us so that we might be a blessing to others.

We should take the next step and become a blessing.

1Pe 3:9 Never give back evil for evil, or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, giving blessing, knowing that you are called to this so that you might inherit blessing.

Eph 1:1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints who are in Ephesus, and faithful in Christ Jesus. 2 Grace be to you, and peace from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ;

Perhaps you do not feel particularly blessed at the moment. Well, let me remind you that if you achieve the greater blessing, which is being a blessing to others, you will automatically receive the lesser, which is being blessed yourself.

One of your great blessings is that Christ has redeemed you from the Law.

Your blessings are sure, for they are completed works, which means they have already been accomplished. How did Christ redeem us? By being made a curse for us: "For it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree" (Gal. 3:13). Why did He do it? So that "the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles" (v. 14).

All of us were unbe-lievers, or Gentiles, at one time, but after accepting Christ's sacrifice we became Abraham's heirs and partakers of the covenant. The apostle Paul said, "And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ" (Rom. 8:17).

Relationships - Betrayal

Betrayal is the experience of infidelity; abuse; lies; lack of support; broken promises; secrets told; snooping or stealing. Betrayal produces guilt; shock; disappointment; disbelief; resentment; anger; fear; shame; helplessness etc. The pain caused by betrayal can last a very long time – not because you refuse to let go of the issue but because of the helplessness you experience along with the pain.

Psa 86:5 For You, Lord, are good and ready to forgive, and rich in mercy to all those who call on You. 6 Give ear, O Jehovah, to my prayer; and attend to the voice of my prayers. 7 In the day of my trouble I will call on You; for You will answer me.

How you choose to respond to betrayal will define your beliefs about your life and you will mirror it in all your relationships - including your beliefs about yourself; your future possibilities and the way you experience life.

Pro 15:22 Without wisdom, purposes are defeated, but by many wise men they are established.
23 A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word in due season, how good it is!

Here are some tips in overcoming and forgiving a betrayal:

Acknowledge Your Feelings
Don't ignore your feelings. Identify your emotions. Write them down.
If you feel that you cannot cope, forgive or let go, you need to seek therapy.
Take care of yourself
Eat healthily and drink lots of water;
Exercise. It reduces stress and releases ‘feel good’ hormones into your bloodstream;
Get eight hours sleep. You will deal better with your issues when you are completely rested;
Be light-hearted. Watch a comedy movie and spend time with positive up-beat people.
Communicate openly, with integrity
Communicating with integrity means that you speak your truth – respectfully.
Tell your partner how you feel and the consequences of the betrayal. If you can’t tell your partner how you feel, say it in writing, but do speak your truth – all of it.
Trust Again
Trust your own intuition!
Do not expect to be betrayed by others. It may turn you into an angry, bitter, suspicious person. Holding on to pain can change your body on a cellular level and make you very sick.
Make A Decision And Remain True To It
Decide on whether you want to work on the relationship or not.
If you decide to stay in the relationship and to work things out you need to decide to trust your partner again – fully.
Tell your partner that you need them to show an understanding of your pain and that they will have to work at earning your trust again. Your relationship won’t survive if there is no trust.
Let Go Of All The Anger
Holding on to anger, bitterness, resentment and pain from experiences such as betrayal can cripple you emotionally and eventually physically because you can become seriously ill from it. Not being willing to let go and to truly forgive your partner will hurt you more than it will hurt your partner - for sure.

Start Over If You Must
If you are unable to continue with the relationship you need to do a ‘postmortem’ to assess your role in the breakdown of the relationship. Unless you are willing to admit that you contributed to the breakdown you may repeat old patterns again and your next relationship may suffer the same consequences.

Mourn The Relationship
It is imperative to mourn the loss of trust and the loss of your relationship. Allow yourself to experience the pain of betrayal. It is normal and necessary to mourn your emotional loss. Mourning is part of the healing process.

A Full life

Helen Keller wrote, "If we trust, if we relinquish our will and yield to the Divine will, then we find that we are afloat on a buoyant sea of peace and under us are the everlasting arms."

Pro 29:25 The fear of man is a cause of danger: but whoever puts his faith in the Lord will have a safe place on high.

As D. L. Moody said, "Trust in yourself, and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in your friends, and they will die and leave you; trust in reputation, and some slanderous tongue may blast it; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity." Luther gave a similar testimony when he said, "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."

Psa 40:2 He took me up out of a deep waste place, out of the soft and sticky earth; he put my feet on a rock, and made my steps certain. 3 And he put a new song in my mouth, even praise to our God; numbers have seen it with fear, and put their faith in the Lord. 4 Happy is the man who has faith in the Lord, and does not give honor to the men of pride or to those who are turned away to deceit.

Several years ago a man encountered the idea that we should live our lives in such a way that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry that we are gone!

The saying is that life begins at 40. It really begins when we want it to begin!

 At age 71 an agent turned down Jack Benny thinking he was washed up. Jack found another agent and fulfilled twelve million dollars more in bookings before he died at the age of 81.
 Moses was 80 when he received the Law.
 Aaron was 83 when he began to perform miracles and plagues in Egypt.
 Joshua was 85 when he led Israel into the promised land.
 Will Durant sold a series of television programs at the ripe young age of 91.
 Frank Lloyd Wright created the magnificent Guggenheim Museum at 89.
 Colonel Sanders was in his 60s when he sold his first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.

These are just some examples that will prove that `age` is relative.

A University study says that if we are physically well, and keep active as we get older, we can enjoy people, laugh at ourselves, and get as much out of life at 90 as we could when we were 40!

I believe that a `full life` starts at the level of trust we put in God. The more we trust, the more fulfillment we have.

"If you plan it properly and are willing to do what it takes to get there, you will! The process of reaching your dreams is important but you first need to define your dream."

A New You

( Life coaching )

Deu 30:19 I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. 20 And love GOD, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that GOD, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Take Deliberate Action

The fact is that you can make your dreams come true. You need to get real with yourself because it is only through taking action that you can create the life you really want. Don’t just dream it – do it! It is definitely possible to create the life you want. If you plan it properly and are willing to do what it takes to get there, you will! The process of reaching your dreams is important but you first need to define your dream.

Answer these two critical questions:

	What do you want?
	How would you know when you get it?

In order to answer these two critical questions, you must explore:

Your passions
Your strengths and weaknesses
Your values
The needs that are underlying your passion
Your choices
Narrow your dream

In order to create the ‘new you’ you need to develop a ‘new you’ mindset:

Ask and accept help from others.
Start giving back in return.
Do not settle for less!

Change your beliefs and negative self-talk with affirmations

Do a SWOT analysis on yourself. (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats)
Embrace the opportunities you have!
Be honest about your shortcomings – decide to make positive changes.
Embrace all the positives in your life and create more.
Stop fretting over things you cannot control.
Embrace your own uniqueness.
Decide to be optimistic about the future.

What are the possible obstacles that could prevent you from reaching your goals?

	Age. Believing that you are too old to start working on your dreams.
	Money. We often believe that we need money to fulfil our dreams and because we don’t have money "it is impossible to achieve, so why bother?"
	Location. Sometimes we need to re-locate to fulfil our dreams and "it’s too much of a hassle, so why bother?"
	Health. If you are truly not well enough to take the necessary action to achieve your dreams, you need to do everything in your power to get better! I mindset of "I’m never going to get well enough to do what it takes" will ensure that you remain sick – it is self-sabotage!
	Education. If you don’t have the education you need, get it! It is never too late!
	Timing. Make sure that your timing is good. For example, don’t start selling a product that is going to be replaced by another more up-to-date version soon or buy a franchise that is outdated. Do some homework to ensure that your timing is right.
	Fear of success or failure. Most successful people have failed at some point in their lives. Learn from your mistakes. Don’t let one mistake prevent you from trying again and again. Some people fear success, because "remaining successful is too hard to do – so why bother?"
	Lack of self-esteem – believing that you are not good enough or that you don’t deserve being successful. Some people grew up with parents, teachers or others who told them that they will never amount to anything… and they believe it so strongly that they sabotage their own efforts constantly. (See article on Self-sabotage.)

Make a list of obstacles that may prevent you from reaching your goals. Then decide how you will overcome each obstacle - and write that down too. It is important to face these barriers before you start on your ‘new you’ journey.

If you are feeling low right now, don’t worry about it and don’t panic. Here are some suggestions to help:

Don’t panic

Panic may cause you to lose perspective and you may end up making the wrong decisions. To help you deal with your fear, you need to get a lot more information, so that you are dealing with facts. Also remember that every time you had problems, you overcame them in the end!

Don’t jump to conclusions

Don’t assume the worst. Our emotions have a way to make the issue seem worse than it is. Do a reality check to determine whether your fears are founded or not. It probably isn’t.

Do the following:

	Make a list of all your successes so that you can get real about your own capabilities.
	Decide to create better experiences and start implementing the changes immediately. Keep a record.
	Make a list of things people might say about you if someone asked them to describe your characteristics.
	Be realistic about how long it will take you to find a new job; start a new career or business etc.
	Make a list of the tough times you remember and include information about how you overcame it.
	Affirmations will help prevent depression, which injects us with an attitude of defeatism.
	If you have never exercised, this is a good time to start. Get active. Exercise will release endorphins in your body that will make you feel good.

The most important action you can take right now is to write your goals down and to start taking action! Do all the tasks and activities that will ensure that you reach your goals. Do not expect over-night miracles. Be real about how long it will take you to get there.

Un-Clutter Your Life

Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

The definition of "clutter" is: "A crowded or confused mass or collection" or "Interfering echoes visible on a radar screen caused by reflection from objects other than the target" – Webster Dictionary.

The image that comes to mind when someone mentions "clutter" closely reflects Webster's first definition. Clutter has repercussions – It impacts on your life. It interferes and disturbs.

Msg: Pro 20:9 For who among us can be trusted to be always diligent and honest? 10 Switching price tags and padding the expense account are two things GOD hates.

Clutter irritates and hurts, both physical and mental. It prevents progress, and detracts from efficiency and effectiveness. Un-cluttering is not about cleaning. It is about getting focus into your life. The benefits of getting rid of it are physical, financial and emotional:

	Physical because you have more free space and it's easier to find what you're looking for.
	Financial because you don't have to spend money on buying items you forgot you had or couldn't find.
	Emotional because you have less stress.

Sometimes the place for an item is in the rubbish bin or perhaps in a recycling bin! One man's treasure is another man's trash… It's only clutter if it interferes, and it only interferes if it's not where it's supposed to be.

Mat 6:24

No one can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Clutter is only clutter if it’s mixed with unrelated things.

If you have stack of unrelated papers and projects mixed together on your desk, it is clutter. If your pantry or kitchen cupboards are so untidy that you can never find what you are looking for, it’s clutter.

Clutter is something you don’t need or want.

Remember the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of value comes from 20 percent of any group. You wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time? 80% of the papers you file, you will never look at again.

Clutter is all the unfinished "stuff" or business and open-ended issues.

We get bored, distracted and downright lazy.

Clutter is everything you haven’t yet made a decision about.

Clutter results because you've postponed making decisions.

Where or what is your clutter? It may be the notes you make to remind you of things to do. It may be worries you have about unresolved issues or the notes on your fridge or the unfinished business of each day. Does your desk look like a bomb hit it?

These strategies are for physical or mental clutter.

Decide what is important

You can’t decide what to get rid of if you don't know what is important to you in the first place. For instance, deciding to only keep clothes that you wear is an indication of what’s important.

Group related items together
Only when you see things together can you begin to prioritize.

Get rid of what you don't need or want.

Divide items into three categories:

- Keep
- Not sure
- Throw out.

Get rid of all the items in "Throw out". Sift through the "Not sure" items and divide them up into the three piles again if you are not sure what to keep and what to throw out. Eventually you will get to "Keep" only items.

Place items into compartments
This is the "home" for items. It is "the most logical place" to store an item.

Even unfinished projects, task and activities need to have a "home". Do not be tempted to keep all the unfinished items, projects and documents together in one place, with the view that it would be a "reminder" to complete it. File important documents in its file and keep the file in the correct place and come back to it when you are ready to complete the task. Only keep paperwork that may be of value to you later. Don’t be tempted to keep something "just in case".

Get you work area clear of clutter and do not be tempted to start your old habit again. File important documents as they arrive on your desk and deal with them at an appropriate (diarised) time.

Once you are truly organized, you can work more efficiently and you can concentrate on attaining your goals. Remember, to be organized also means that you have to organize and manage your time.

Decide to deal with all outstanding issues you may have in your life. Maybe you parted on bad terms with a friend or family member or you have an outstanding fine, which has been nagging you for a long time. Perhaps you need to review your relationships, your job or your life in general. Un-cluttering your life starts by looking inside your heart and making decisions about what’s important to you. Hold on to what is important to you and let go of all the emotional and physical clutter in your life.

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world…